Today I had the great misfortune to hear “What I Am” by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians. When I was a lad, the Elder Mr. Loch used to listen to that song quite a bit. At the time, I thought it was a stupid song with banal lyrics (if you need someone else to shove you in the shallow water before you get too deep, you need to get out of the damn pool). Listening to it 20 years later, I’m pleased to report that my initial assessment was correct. It’s a stupid song with banal lyrics.
It got me thinking though about other songs that make me want to defenestrate myself whenever I hear them. I came up with the following list:
“The Locomotion” by Little Eva
“I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” by Gail Peevey
“Teenager in Love” by Dion and the Belmonts
“Working Man’s PhD” by Aaron Tippin
“Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus
And finally, the worst of them all:
“When We Make Love” by Alabama (this song is the reason I cringe whenever I hear the phrase “making love”)
What about you? What songs do you absolutely loathe? Feel free to share in the comments.
Codex Lochianus 
How can you not like “The Locomotion?”
Other must mentions: Beyoncé’s Single Ladies and Eminem’s Stan (ft Dido).
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When I was a kid, I had the misfortune to see a music video featuring a particularly horrid cover of “The Locomotion.” It ruined the song for me forever.
I hadn’t realized that Eminem did a song with the Queen of Carthage. It’s nice that she’s found something else to do besides pine for Aeneas though.
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