I just read that Jennifer Garner (of Alias fame) has been cast as Miss Marple in new Disney film. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Agatha Christie’s books, Jane Marple is supposed to be an elderly spinster who lives in the small English village of St. Mary Mead. Apparently Disney, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to ‘reboot’ the Miss Marple franchise by turning her into a hot thirtysomething.
This takes the cake for the most absurd thing I’ve read today. When one thinks of Miss Marple, one thinks of George Orwell’s old maids bicycling to Holy Communion, not someone who could appear on the cover of Maxim. Miss Marple’s sublime ordinariness is part of her charm. She’s not a high-powered secret agent, she’s just a run-of-the-mill English lady who happens to have a gift for piecing clues together.
At first I thought this was going to be a prequel, but then I read that it’s going to be set in the modern day. So not only are they shaving decades off of Miss Marple’s age, they’re also catapulting her decades into the future. It looks like Disney’s just trying to cash in on the Marple name, but I have to wonder if that’s a winning strategy. Presumably, the changes they’ve made are designed to appeal to a younger demographic, but I doubt that many people under the age of 50 know who she is. And the people who already do know who she is probably won’t care much for the changes they’ve made.
Since this is a Disney film, we probably won’t be forced to watch New Marple thrash around in bed with some buff boytoy. Nor will she be called upon to solve a disgustingly gruesome crime. For that we should be thankful. The Miss Marple stories were never about gritty, realistic dramas. They were the coziest of the cozy mysteries.
Sigh. I wonder how long it will be before Justin Bieber is cast as a young Brother Cadfael?